Sigma Delta Sorority Petitions to Join the IFC

In a surprising move last week, Sigma Delta Sorority has decided to attempt to disband from the Panhellenic Council and petition for membership in the Inter-fraternity Council. This marks the first time at Dartmouth that a Greek house of women has attempted to join the IFC, unless one includes the time that AZD blatantly usurped Beta’s physical plant and retained the Beta name over their front door. Sigma Delt president Annie Schultz ’10 explains, “We’re clearly frattier than most frats. We drink more beer and hook up with more chicks. The IFC has enforced limitations that are totally arbitrary, narrow-minded, and strictly sociobiological. Their criteria for what qualifies a house as a fraternity are way off-base.” These criteria currently include a penis and ballsack. However, many Dartmouth students agree that the character of “frattiness” is in itself much more complex.

The vote among the Sigma Delt sisters to join the IFC was unanimous, though some fear that internal political pressure affected the outcome. Recent pledge Liz Bracer ‘12 indicated as much in her conversation with Dunyun reporters. “Well, to be honest, I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I joined this house,” Bracer said. “Sometimes I feel left out because I don’t hook up with girls and I don’t like being forced to chug beer out of an old shoe. But this [decision to join the IFC] is really what is most fitting for the sisterhood as a whole. And now we won’t have to worry so much about probation!” Many current fraternity members on campus are skeptical of the move, however. John Thomas ’10, a member of Theta Delta Chi, offered a common criticism: “Okay, those girls are kind of fratty. For girls. But the fact is, frattiness really does depend on the penis. Like, how could they ever drink beer off their pledge trainer’s dick, or do the elephant walk? They just don’t have the right anatomy for frattiness. Pledge term in a frat is all about the dick.” He added, “No homo.”
If Sigma Delta does succeed in its bid to join the IFC, the rush process will be very different. Only women will be able to rush Sigma Delt, but, as rush chair Dana Yancey explains, “We won’t have to do those annoying small-talk parties with all those girls in dresses. And we can get drunk during delibs. I can’t wait!” The frarority will hold its own separate rush process after the sororities have finished theirs, but at the same time as other fraternities. The standards of behavior will change as well. Last year, after a toilet paper dispenser was broken at a Sigma Delt formal, the house was put on probation for two weeks. If the bid to join the IFC is successful, the house hopes to be able to facilitate drunken, apathetic destruction with absolutely no consequences. “That, to me, is what it means to be accepted as a true frat,” Schultz says. “It would be a dream come true.”
The IFC and the administration are expected to announce their formal decision within the next few days.