Anniversary

Greetings from The Dunyun.

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

It's our first birthday! One year ago to the day, James Engle was sitting on Fourth Floor Berry with a full bladder, Frannie Mays was tripping balls on a Five-Hour Energy, Stephen Briggs was congratulating himself on finishing pledge term, and nobody had heard of Jayson Doubleday. We were muggles all. But James, Frannie, and Stephen were united by common cause: a desire to procrastinate, wasted writing talent, and a lot of stuff to complain about. And so we trudged on, making fun of more things than we knew were possible. Some people got pissed at us along the way. Oh well. Only God can judge me. And Dartmouth has no speech code, suckas!

A couple months into our time, Jayson imposed himself on our ranks, and we were too tired to object. The spring saw us starting to experiment with new styles, especially Briggs's signature "Dun-on-Dun" and "Dear Stephen" segments, and Frannie's unparalleled "Vox Querentis" rants, which have become staples. We took somewhat of a break over the summer, as Briggs was way too busy fratting to write, but have been back this fall, tired but determined. We're looking forward to our second year, which looks promising with new material, fresh styles, and some budding talent in the ranks.

To celebrate our first year, though, we've put together a fuckin' tome of new articles for you to read. We know it's finals and you're so stressed and you don't have the time to read all of them, but save this blitz and go back to a new article when you need a study break.

We love you,

The Dunyun

Free Breakfast for Dinner Completely Compensates Students for Usual DDS Price Level

Preying on students’ lack of sleep and day of subsistence on Novack food, DDS took the opportunity on the last night before finals to gain some goodwill from the student body. By offering breakfast for dinner, commonly called brinner, free of charge, DDS effectively eliminated all animosity towards its usually bloated price levels for the foreseeable future. 

Managers and employees alike were excited about the giveaway. Ed Harvin, the co-vice president of public goodwill and decorations for DDS, explained, “We’re always looking for ways to give back to students. I mean were keeping Novack open 24 hours today and even giving a larger selection of $4 drinks. All we ask for in return is a mere $1,500 per term and the patience to deal with limited dining options and long lines.”