“13s Unsure how to Manflirt over the Summer”

Many male members of the Class of 2013 have encountered problems this summer keeping up their desired levels of manflirting, which reached startling levels in the winter and spring. Manflirting is a staple of freshman year due to Dartmouth’s unique rush calendar. However, most aspiring bros refer to it by euphemisms such as “hanging out” or “getting to know brothers” in order to distance themselves from the more often criticized girlflirting.

Many ‘13s were worried about their loss of prime manflirting time over the summer. While some solved this problem by simply staying on campus over the summer, Jacob Taylor ’13 was worried about being classified as “that guy” and decided that it would be more practical maximize his manflirting by “just visiting for a few weekends, you know, when I’m in the area. The ‘12s will definitely be excited to see a ’13 around.”

Real World "Full of Caspers"

“Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!”

Jack Rapaport ’11 is the discoverer of a phenomenon. In the library, in the dining halls, and in humanities classes, there are caspers. Caspers, according to Rapaport, are “girls who you see around and who seem really cute and cool and great and haven’t hooked up with any of your friends, but are nowhere to be seen on a Friday night. On a Friday night, they might as well be ghosts.” Since his discovery of this phenomenon, Rapaport has declared himself a “ghostbuster”, a man who finds these ghosts and “takes them down.” Ever since starting his internship in New York City, though, Rapaport has found that the real world is more “full of caspers” than he could possibly have dreamed.

’13s Gain Valuable Experience From Internships

Andrew Kartsonis ’13 was excited to tell his friends that he had landed a prestigious, highly sought-after summer internship at Morgan Stanley this summer. After spending all year learning about abstract concepts such as supply and demand and GDP, Kartsonis finally got to gain some more practical skills. Best of all, this internship was located right in his hometown of Toledo, OH.

He explained how this internship was preparing him for life after college, “I’ve only been here three weeks but I’m already ‘getting my hands dirty’ and learning all the skills I need to succeed. And to think that last year I though Excel and PowerPoint were just for middle school science presentations. Thus far I haven't actually found any other skills that you need to make it in finance.”