Dick’s House Sees Increased Food Poisoning over Big Weekends; Administration Takes Action

Over the past few years, Dick’s House has been noticing an increase in food poisoning trends over big weekends, leading some administrators to suspect that something my be running afoul. The problem has been noticed not just by Dick’s House officials, but also by janitors around campus.
Over big weekends, Dick’s House notices many individuals—some of them brought in by Safety and Security—who are nauseous and sometimes unresponsive. Many of these students, even if they have already vomited earlier in the day, vomit while they are in Dick’s House. Janitors around campus see an increase in the amounts of vomit in trash cans and toilets, speculating that some individuals with food poisoning may choose to “tough it out” and not bring themselves in to Dick’s House.
Administrators speculate that the problem somehow stems back to Dartmouth Dining Services, and are starting a task force to keep food quality standards high, even over big weekends.
“Big weekends are considered a holiday by most of the Dartmouth campus, but that doesn’t excuse slacking up on food standards. It becomes a danger to the health of the students and the community when [Dartmouth Dining Services] slacks off, and we’re going to fix that,” said Dr. Jack Turco, Director of Health Services.
Since the Food Court grill line, especially the deep-fried chicken nuggets, french fries and mozzarella sticks see increased consumption over big weekends, a particular focus will be paid to that area.
Other theorists postulate that Jack Stinson, who is known to host several large barbecues over any big weekend, may be part of the cause of the problem. While he is engaged in other business affairs, he may not have the time to properly cook the meat or to ensure its quality, some speculate. However, as Stinson’s Village Store is not technically affiliated with the College and no criminal charges have been brought to bear, there will be no sanctions on the store.
Turco said that the College is preparing an education program to teach students about the dangers of food poisoning, and how to watch out for it, especially over big weekends.
“There are just some very basic things that students can learn that will save them from food poisoning,” Turco said. “Watch the meat that’s being served to you and make sure it’s been cooked all the way through. Make sure the vegetables are fresh. Be wary of anything that is free. If at all possible, cook your own food.”
With this new education program and tighter surveillance on DDS, Turco hopes to have the rates of food poisoning—and therefore vomiting—down to normal levels by the time Winter Carnival comes around.