Safety and Security Cockblocks Aggressively at Party

In an incident at Bones Gate fraternity on Friday, a Safety and Security officer was seen aggressively cockblocking more than one soon-to-be couple.
“So there we were, minding our own business,” said Joe Richards ’12, one of the affected individuals. “We had played a couple games of pong together and then we went up to the first floor to dance, and then this [Safety and Security] guy comes in and starts talking about keg violations and fire code or whatever. I’m thinking, ‘Bro, how about thinking about the damage that you’re doing to my game right now?’”
The Safety and Security officer in question, Rod Farva, claimed he was “only doing his job,” but that he “would try to be more careful about cockblocking in the future.”

“They tell us to go into these parties and make sure that all the kegs are registered and all the fire exits are unblocked and all of that, but they never teach us about how to do all of that without irreparably blocking somebody’s cock.”
As a result of the Safety and Security intrusion, Richards was unable to convert on Kathleen Lafford ’13.
“As soon as she saw the [Safety and Security officer], she just bolted. Everything had been going great up until that point. Going up and dancing was even her idea. And she had mentioned something really cool that she had in her room in this suggestive way, as if she wanted me to ask to see it. God, it was such a layup, and it’s all soiled now.”
Farva said he was unsure how Safety and Security would deal with these issues in the future.
“We can’t help it if freshman girls get scared of us and run away. It sucks for the guy who’s scamming on them, but there’s really nothing we can do about it. What we do need to work on, thought, are ways of making sure the dance floors stay open and that there will be more beer for more games of pong. It’s an issue we’ve been working through with the administration as part of an ongoing policy change.”
Richards said he was aware of at least two other males whose odds of getting action that night were seriously hurt by the Safety and Security visit.
“I had been watching my bro Ron with this girl all night. Chick was grinding up on him so hard, there’s absolutely no way she wasn’t looking for it. But then the [Safety and Security officer] comes, and ten minutes later, I get a text from Ron asking if I want to order EBAs. He should’ve been balls deep at that point.”
According to Richards, the male individuals who were affected saw nothing that Safety and Security could do to repay them.
“Sure, an apology would be nice. But what does that do for my D?”