Jim Gusanoz Wins Mayor of Hanover on "Especial" Ticket

Aided by full Greek support, Jim Gusanoz (I), a local deliveryman and write-in candidate, stunned incumbent Jeffrey Silver (R.) in yesterday’s Hanover mayoral contest. Jim represented the “Especial” party, an independent group championing “free speech, free trade, and free chips”.
He could not be reached at home for comment, but Dunyun reporters found him at his workplace: Gusanoz Taqueria. Even with his new title and responsibilities, the blue-collared American still delivered burritos the next day.
“Hi. Gusanoz. This is Jim. How can I help you?”
“Mr. Mayor, this is Stephen Briggs from The Dunyun. I’d like a chicken House burrito, Cherry Coke, and your thoughts on yesterday’s victory over incumbent Jeffrey Silver.”
“Oh well alright now. Where am I taking this order?”
“Mid-mass. But how does it feel to be Mayor of Hanover?”
“Shit man. Is that what you guys are calling me now? It’ll be $7.25. I’ll be over in 10-20 minutes.”

Jim ran an aggressive door-to-door campaign, where he won over the Dartmouth student body by learning names and giving burrito kickbacks to loyal supporters. In a fundraising event outside Chi Heorot, Jim promised two burrito-paying voters, “I will take down EBAs. I will play pong with you.”
Michael Tindelli ’10 added, “I was unsure about voting for Jim. But then he double-punched my card the day before the election. I am one away from a free one now. That’s an American right there.”
Jim’s victory has caused controversy in the greater Hanover population, especially from the more mild-mannered, or as Jim describes them, “People who can’t handle the Borracho”. A protest group, El Patron On Ice, will be meeting today at Boloco with high-ranking Hanover officials to discuss a possible revote.
The incumbent Jeffrey Silver reported to the Valley News, “Wait, did this really happen? Isn’t he that delivery guy? Wait, really?”
Rumors have circulated that Jim's candidacy was a creation of Richard Marshall ’11, a Gusanoz regular. Marshall was seen distributing, “What Would Jim Do” bracelets around campus and is the administrator in multiple “Vote for Jim” Facebook groups.
Jim assumes office January 1, 2010.