Student in Thayer Lobby Definitely Waiting for Friends

Preston Larkin ’13 was sure that he made plans to eat dinner in Thayer with some friends. After blitzing a girl he liked and receiving no response, he successively blitzed a group of friends, his floor, and finally his Trip. After twenty minutes of sitting at his desk, reading his Pyschology 1 textbook and checking his blitz every twelve seconds, he finally received a response from a friend who lived in the McLaughlin cluster, saying that he was going to be “hitting up Thayer in a little bit.” Attempts to clarify what specific time was meant were unsuccessful, and Larkin did not have his friend’s cell phone number.

After fifteen minutes, which Larkin estimated to be “a little bit” of time, he headed from his room in Fahey to Thayer, where he quickly scanned the crowds in Food Court, Homeplate, and Pavilion for his friends. They were nowhere to be seen.

Realizing that he had to go to the bathroom, Larkin took his time going down the stairs in Thayer and used the facilities, only to hurry back upstairs, worried that his friends would enter without seeing him. Thinking that they might have notified him of a change of plans, he went over to a blitz terminal and checked with a busy expression on his face. No new messages. Undaunted, Larking started opening old blitzes from his Trash, confident that his friends would arrive any second, all the time with brow furrowed.

After exhausting the contents of his Trash, Larkin went over to the periodicals section to check out the latest campus publications. After reading the D cover to cover, Larkin settled in to read the entire Dartmouth Free Press. In between paragraphs of each article, his eyes darted up to scan the incoming crowd, hoping to see a friend entering shortly. A girl who sat across the room from him in his Writing 5 section entered alone, but Larkin decided not to approach her, not knowing if she was meeting friends who he didn’t know.

After twenty minutes in the lobby had passed, Larkin had the idea to check Facebook to see if his friend’s number was listed. No luck. After reading old text messages and going to the bathroom again, Larkin decided enough was enough. He bit the bullet and ordered a parm to go. On his way out of Thayer, he checked blitz one last time. Still no word, although a floormate of his had responded to his blitz, saying sorry, but she had already eaten. Dejected, Larkin walked back to Fahey and ate his dinner at his desk. 

When asked later by The Dunyun about his conspicuous absence, Larkin’s friend said, “I’m currently conducting a science experiment to examine the forces of magnetism between my pillow and my head when magnified by marijuana.”

*Thanks to Dan Shminney ’11 for the news tip.