Faculty Unanimously Approve Proposal to Ban “Brocabulary”

Ever since the introduction of Wikipedia, Sparknotes, and other populist information sources into the academic world, universities across the country have been moving to ban these resources as formal citations in academic papers. While students have rebelled against these restrictions, it appears that the tide will not turn on the Wikipedia issue. At Dartmouth, though, where there is no universal Wikipedia ban, professors have recently unanimously voted in approval of a move to universally ban the use of “brocabulary” in academic papers.

Brocabulary, for those who don’t know, is the practice of inserting the words “bro” and “frat” into standard vocabulary. There is no “brofficial” list or compilation of brocabulary, as the lexicon is constantly being expanded.

“I’m sick of it,” said Deborah Linman, a professor in the Earth Sciences Department and the proposed ban’s biggest proponent. “I teach a class called Natural Disasters and Catastrophes, and probably half of the paperwork that I receive from students refers to the class either as ‘Fratty Disasters’ or ‘Natural Fratastrophes.’ It’s simply unprofessional.”

Faculty members from almost every department have expressed similar concerns.

“It’s economics, not ecbronomics,” said a professor in the Economics Department. Other departments that have expressed similar complaints are, in the words of the bros, Govbroment, Neurbroscience, Comparative Fratiture, and Fratalian, to name a few.

Since The Dartmouth reported on the proposed ban, students have created a Facebook group to rally behind, called “Bropponents of the Frattempt to Rid Dartmouth of Brofficial Brocabulary.”

“We will not be fratigued,” said the leader of the movement, who would only identify himself as Broseph Fratstar. “We need to maintain our strong fratmosphere. In my bropinion, this is the most important issue facing the underfratuate population at Dartmouth today. I don’t want to live in a world where I have to read the brobituary of brocabulary. As a brommunity, we can brovercome. The brofessors are paid by us. They should be brobedient. It’s their brahcupation.”

Recently arising has been a movement for a compromise between the two sides.

“If we could just get the two sides to agree to some sort of brotocol for the use of brocabulary, then we wouldn’t have any more problems,” said one administrator who wished to remain anonymous for fear of ‘negative repbrocussions’. “At the very least, it would keep everybody from kicking each other in the brovaries.”

The Dunyun will continue to report on the “brocabulary” debate as more developments arise.