FoCo Finally Makes Use of Plasma TV, Installs Kiss Cam

In a closed meeting in the Tindle Lounge, DDS officials voted 6-3 to install Kiss Cam © in Food Court. Kiss Cam has been a major hit at professional sporting events for years and it was only a matter of time before it snogged into other venues.

The Cam will be set-up in the balcony facing the Main Room, surrounded by such homemade banners as "GDX Spring Rush: Nerd-Bashing Time," "Spring Boot Drive, Sponsored by Phi Delt," and "Dartmouth Coach: You Have No Other Choice". It will run from 11-1, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, and non-stop on big weekends. 

DDS Chief of Cool Alison Honda commented, "Unlike the Hop, we are committed to the overall dining experience at FoCo, not just 'bro-ing out' or whatever goes on over there. Our research team determined that these periods are prime time for making out. And if this initiative is to succeed, people need to hook-up. Also there's only so many times we can let you know it's Chicken Monday."

At random intervals, a couple will appear on the big-screen Plasma TV, encapsulated within a giant, green D. DDS officials hope that the FoCo crowd will get into it and cheer the couple to put down their nuggets and kiss for the screen. After the Kiss, a "Memories by FoCo" message will scoot across the Screen before dissolving back into the Weekly Specials. Images can then be purchased on the FoCo website (FoCool.com) for $40...or DA$H.

FoCoordinator Darius Darien said, "In high school, I took my secret crush to a Mets game. I was totally friend-zoned but in the middle of the 6th inning, a huge roar erupted in my section. I looked up and my big-bosomed girl and I were in a heart on the JumboTron. I swooped in for the Kiss, she rejected me, but Kiss Cam got me so close. Also I was all over the News and YouTube for a couple days afterwards. Thanks Kiss Cam!"

DDS officials noted that other benefits of the Kiss Cam included, "tremendous face-time," "doing away with that awkward transitionary period when you're with a girl who you know wants it but she makes you take her to FoCo first, then Topside, and possibly order EBAs, god damnit," and "the potential for really funny Steak on Steak forced make-out sessions."

Kappa Kappa Gamma has filed a formal complaint against the Kiss Cam, even creating a Facebook group titled "Eww Gross." But general campus reaction has been excitement and multiple high-fives are rumored to have been "thrown down" in Sigma Nu, Fuel, and RWIT.

Jeffrey Chillington, a TDX '10, observed, "This is a dream come true. Now I can start making out with a hot chick while mid-chew on a Cheesesteak. And then return to my Cheesesteak."