DDS Signs Deal With Good Humor Ice Cream Truck

Amidst numerous staff layoffs, Dartmouth Dining Service has launched its new initiative “More Jobs, Less Firing”, spearheaded by the purchase of a Good Humor ice cream truck. DDS Head Michael Bublio commented, “We’re really excited about the addition of an ice cream truck to our offerings. It creates two new jobs, Driver and Ice Cream Gatherer, and will greatly service the Dartmouth community as the weather warms.”

The truck will run 7 days a week from 2 PM – 4 PM, looping the Green over and over again. Other than the standard Screwball (save the gum, always), Klondike Bars, and SpongeBob Ice Pops selection, the Dartmouth truck will offer such Dartmouth-specific treats as frozen Pong Paddle complete with white gumball pong ball, a customizable Face pop with your very own face, and chocolate-covered Nugs.

Budget advisor Robert Timlin noted, “This truck not only saves a DDS job, but it also brings us closer to a balanced budget. The revenue we expect this truck to bring in may rival that of Novack sandwiches or even Topside condoms. I remember when I was in college. All I wanted was ice cream and girls. Which I got.”

The Truck will not sound the typical ice cream truck jingle, rather an a cappella version of “Granite State of Mind” sung by a DDS employee who tried out for American Idol twice. Also, DDS ice cream specialist, Mitch Mitchell said, “We’re going to call the truck ‘Nice Cream’. Get it, like Ice but Nice. That’s why I’m the boss.”

Good Humor representative Rebecca Smits told Dunyun reporters, “We’re really excited to venture into B and J territory in Hanover. They’ve basically monopolized the ice cream market in the Upper Valley, but we think our truck’s face-time opportunities may give us staying power.”

Campus reaction has been pretty subdued but DDS employees expect temperature increase to rally support.

When told about the prospects of an Ice Cream truck circling the Green, Jeff Diddle ’11 commented, “Yeah ice cream is good.”

Ted Rogers ’12 added, “Cool. Is the Hop going to be open this summer though?”

The Truck begins its loop next Monday and accepts DA$H or dollar bills.