Mclane 3 Claims Responsibility for Increase in Alcohol Related Arrests

Members of the third floor of Mclane Hall invited the presidents of every Dartmouth fraternity and sorority to an "emergency meeting" on Friday afternoon in the Baker Library Tower Room.

In front of an audience of four floor mates, three winter term pledges and this Dunyun reporter, Alex Weaver '13, the self-proclaimed "mastermind" behind Mclane 3, apologized to the entire Dartmouth Greek system for "All the hardships that we've caused you in the past month", confessing that "Mclane 3 takes full responsibility for the increase in Good Sams and alcohol related arrests this year, which has been caused solely by our pre-games."

Mclane 3 claims to be the "hardest" floor on campus, imposing social dues of $100 per term to fund these extravagant pre-games, with most of this money going towards the purchase of drinking themed posters, a flip cup table and new Xbox 360 games. Weaver justified these social dues, "We know our floor's dues are steep, but that's the cost of living on such an a-side floor. Kids living in the River or the Choates would give up Collis baked goods for this opportunity."

"We definitely rage harder than any freshman floor. It's basically a given that if you come to a Mclane 3 pre-game, you're gonna ride the blackout train all the way back to your dorm" said Bruce Oh '13, the Mclane 3 "social chair". "If HPo had asked any freshman where the really like to rage underage, we could've avoided this whole alcohol policy problem".

Steven Steel '13, a resident of Mclane 3 in attendance, told The Dunyun, "I have no idea why HPo didn't realize that we were behind all of this. We have been throwing crazy pre-games since orientation when my sister bought me a handle of vodka and we used it to make over 5 GALLONS of punch, we probably had 50 kids there. I'm sure at least half of them got picked up by S&S later that night." Other providers of alcohol for Mclane 3 include members of X.ado and the Nathan Smith Society for Pre-Med students. "We try to mix up our suppliers so no one catches on to the true scope of our operations", Steel added.

Natalie Cunningham '13, a resident of nearby Russell-Sage, explains the average Mclane 3 pre-game, "You can't really taste the alcohol in their drinks. One time they had Jello shots, I had no idea that they had vodka in them until I saw the nicely decorated sign on the wall that said '1 jello shot = 1/8 normal shot'. If someone didn't see that sign, who knows how many shots they would've taken."

The "risk management chair" of Mclane 3, Alicia Alden '13, would not discuss the specific number of Good Sams or arrests that her floor was responsible for, instead emphasizing their safety protocols, "We encourage people to make the short walk to Webster Ave before calling S&S on their friends."

When asked about his floor's confession, Erich Fieri '11, the Mclane 3 UGA, was befuddled and said "I didn't think anyone on my floor drank, I usually see them in the study room on weekends."

Bruce Oh was excited about the announcement, "This will be great publicity for our pre-game on Friday. My boy from NSS is picking up 2 cases of MGD 64, like we care about exams!"

However, Ryan McPherson '13 expressed mixed feeling over the public apology, "I know it's the right thing for our floor to do and it will be great for our floor's ragey reputation but I'm worried that some frats won't let this go. It could really hurt us in rush next year."

Michael Cox '12, a Tri-Kap Winter Pledge and one of three fraternity members in attendance, stated, "I was just here on a pledge mission. I have no idea what these kids are talking about."

At press time, a Facebook group entitled "Save Mclane 3" had nine members, eight of whom were residents of Mclane 3, the last of whom was Jonathan James Recor.

- Jayson Doubleday '13