“Dartmouth X” Professor to Reach out to Underrepresented Groups in Class

    For years, Professor Allison Lowood has been teaching Sociology 36: The Dartmouth X. However, for this spring’s class, she is hoping to have somebody other than freshman guys and senior girls take the class.
    “I’ve always had my class fill up to capacity with freshman guys and senior girls, with the occasional junior girl thrown into the mix,” Lowood said. “They all want an institutional reason why they aren’t being appreciated besides their annoying self-righteousness. Come to think of it, if that’s the reason why everyone’s taking the class, maybe we should switch to the Women and Gender Studies Department. That fits their description much better.”
    Johanna Murray ’10, who took the class her junior spring, commented that the class “opened [her] eyes to the injustices of the system.”
    “At first I thought that it was just a problem with men of Dartmouth now,” Murray said. “They just don’t make ‘em like they used to. The ‘07s and ‘08s? Those were real men. But now I walk around Collis and can’t find a single decent guy. But the class taught me about perspective. See, through no fault of mine besides not being some dumbshit freshman girl who will whore herself out to anybody with a pong paddle in his hand, I have been neglected by the opposite sex. We saw how there were zero men on this campus who were seeking any sort of emotional commitment, and how once every decent guy joined a frat, he immediately became a sexist pig. I’ve even heard that they have brainwashings during pledge term where they teach them to hate women. It’s like the brainwashing in ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ but instead of teaching them not to be violent, they teach them not to love.”
    Robert Matts ’10, who took the class during his freshman fall in 2007, said that his thoughts on the course have changed over the years.
    “At first, I totally agreed with everything that was being said,” said Matts. “How could women not appreciate me for who I was freshman year? I broke up with my high school girlfriend so I could give these college girls the attention they deserved. I actually cared about women, and didn’t get my d wet once except for this time when a girl accidentally spilled beer all over my crotch. It was cold.”
    “However,” he continued, “now I see that I was just some awkward freshman fuck who wouldn’t know what to do with a girl if she threw herself at me. This whole theory is bullshit. I haven’t changed. The world just appreciates me now like they should have all along.”
    Larissa Marshall ’13 said that she would never take the class.
    “Why would I want to sit and listen to some older girls complain?” Marshall asked. “It’s their fault that they let themselves go and don’t know how to have a good time. I know that if I want to get attention, I just have to wear revealing clothing and go to Theta Delt. It’s really not that hard. I don’t see why the senior girls can’t do it, too. And then they give me these horrible looks when all the guys are talking to me… Looks like somebody’s jealous.”
    Lowood’s goal in recruiting other students to the class is to bring fresh perspectives to the issue and to have students examine how social institutions affect the way individuals behave. However, her experience so far has only been to provide disgruntled students with justification for why they weren’t getting any.
    Matts told The Dunyun that he was considering auditing the class this spring.
    “Look, everybody knows senior girls are a handful, with their feminism and independence and all of that,” he said. “But there are some serious advantages. Older chicks are more likely to be DTF; more likely to have enormous, comfortable beds for me to sleep in; and more likely to have food for me to eat in the morning. And any girl who’s signed up for this class is going to fall over herself at any guy who’ll even send them an afternoon-after blitz. Layup city.”