'12 Needs Third Class, Easy

After a terribly hungover first day of classes, Stevie Worthington '12 looked at his Schedule Detail and only had two classes: Socy 3: Talking to People and Rel 12: Advanced Praying.

Worthington had gotten jacuzzied the night before and was really feeling the stones in his stomach in the morning. But he managed to shop Econ 35: Corporate Recruiting in the 11. The teacher however refused to accept any more students even "social chairs".

"I'm an affluent Econ major, my Dad is Craig from Craig's List, and I'm in a frat," yelled Worthington. "How can you not put me in this class?"

The Professor promised to put Worthington on the waitlist and let him know if any openings arose because his "son found his first job on Craig's List." But he advised Worthington to "pick up a third class in the meantime."

Not satisfied, Worthington stormed back to his room and blitzed out to his fraternity, "I didn't get into Corp Recruiting. Someone got a real easy third class, it can't be a 10, 11, or 12, and definitely not a 10A. Plus I'm in training right now for Masters, so ideally, minimal attendance. Also, no long papers. I'm trying to get spin on my throw saves. You guys got anything?"

Nobody responded but later that night at Reds (RIP), a friend told Worthington, "I'm in this real easy 2, English 56: Narc Novels. It also works as Socy 55: Snitch Stories but Professor Stoke teaches it. Stoke the Joke. Get there."

Unfortunately Worthington had already taken all of Stoke the Joke's classes, and was still stuck with two come Tuesday morning. He typed in his scheduling requirements on the ORC guide and it registered only two available classes, Italian 1 and WGST 78: Boobies.

Boobies intrigued Worthington at first but he Facebooked the professor and she "probably had pep nips." Thinking back to his first girlfriend and those saucers on her ta tas, Worthington refused to take that class.

He had hooked up with a few Italian chicks on his Teen Tour and figured, "Learning the language could always help. Or at least how to say blow jobs per favore."

Worthington attended the first class, learned about drill, dropped, and decided to hold a two-class Spring because he's "really going to miss this senior class." Soph spring baby.