Psi U to Rent Out Social Space for Local Bar Mitzvahs

Psi Upsilon has announced it will rent out its social space to local Bar and Bat Mitzvahs during its stint on probation. Since its probation prohibits the use of alcohol on the premises, Psi U sees this cherished Jewish ritual as a profitable use of its unused basement.

The inaugural affair will be the Bar Mitzvah of Adam Weisfeld, a resident of nearby Etna, New Hampshire. The service will be held on the first floor of the house, with the reception planned for the frat's basement.

Harvey Weisfeld, Adam's father, said, "I never expected to celebrate Adam's big day in a Dartmouth fraternity, but when the opportunity presented itself, we just couldn't say no." According to Weisfeld, a Psi U brother approached him in Lou's after overhearing Weisfeld's conversation about a lack of affordable locations for the occasion.

"Yeah, he seemed anxious about where they were gonna have the Bar Mitzvah, and I remembered that no one was using our basement anyways, so it seemed perfect," said Alex Janovich '11. "Obviously I had to run it by the rest of the house, but no one really objected, so it worked out. This'll pay for beer through spring term at least."

"I thought it was a cool idea," explained Trevor Ingram '12. "It's gonna be a great way for the house to bring in some extra revenue. Plus, I know a few brothers are excited to help out as like dancers and stuff."

Several other brothers, who requested to remain anonymous, told the Dunyun that they were "pumped about the party," as it would be an opportunity to relive their "glory years." One unnamed brother revealed he is excited to finally be able to dance without feeling judged. "Doing the Cha Cha Slide or Cotton-Eyed Joe? I miss that. Fuck grinding. Plus they're all middle schoolers. That'd be fucked up. I don't have to worry about looking cool or anything. Don't get me wrong, if this were a Sweet Sixteen, it'd be another story."

Equally as excited was Adam Weisfeld, who proclaimed his party to be the coolest Bar Mitzvah ever. "I mean, it's in a frat. It'll make Jacob Greenbaum's party look like it was in the Hanover High gym."

As of publication, Janovich had solicited Hillel to help provide manishevitz.
"It's strictly religious, so H-Po can't do anything. Can they? Yo Ingram, we've still got the paddles and balls right? Cool."

- Bobby Hoover '14