#3: The Hero of the Football Team

Now don’t get me wrong, it pains me as much as the rest of us to see someone related to the football team in 2010’s three most influential people at Dartmouth. I’ll probably regret it next time there are fifteen people ordering burger specials in front of me in the grill line, but sometimes, someone comes along whose impact simply can’t be denied. Coming in at number three on the Dunyun’s top 10 of 2010 is the MVP of this year’s varsity football team, Sacred Heart kicker Jesper Fredriksson.

It’s rare that the success of an entire season can be credited to a single player, but Fredriksson is the exception to the rule. With time expiring and his team trailing by two points, he missed a chip-shot field goal to give Dartmouth it’s first winning season since 1928 and making the largest single contribution to Dartmouth football since that ’09 tried to sleep with everyone in GDX.

Throughout recent history, the football team has been missing an edge, that player who could make the big play when it really counts. Luckily Fredrikkson was just the prime time performer we’ve been waiting on, the kind of player who can take a football team from “mediocre” to “slightly above average.” As a certified nonner, I can’t imagine what it must be like to perform at that level.

Coach Buddy Teevens praised his performance, “I can’t stress enough how much [Fredrikkson] means to us. We can put in all the time in the offseason, practice hard every day, but if he doesn’t come through for us on the field, we’re a .500 team and people would rather go to the soccer games, those pussies. Wait they still do? Well shit.”

When asked for comment, Dartmouth captain Pete “Porterhouse” Hamilton ‘11 replied, “It was great to see someone make a play for us. I've been here four years and I can tell you without a doubt that that kick was the biggest play I’ve seen. I’d go as far as to say it was top three in Dartmouth history.”

Fredrikkson did not return respond to inquiries by the Dunyun regarding how it felt to be solely responsible for Dartmouth’s winning season. But if you're reading this, please don’t do it again. No one wants to see the football team elevate their already unfounded sense of entitlement.