Incipient Dance Party Frustrated by Pong Game

Guests at Chi Gam were irritated on Wednesday when the refusal of a group of '13s to prematurely end their game of pong inadvertently prevented the beginning of a spontaneous dance floor. Though reports indicate that the basement was at capacity and a succession of danceable songs had been playing for several minutes, the brothers physically resisted attempts to flip the last standing table which would have allowed unrestrained dancing to begin in earnest.

"I waited out a line of 3 to get on this table," said Nick Beason '13, one of the brothers. "I don't care if some horny dudes want to get their grind on, I just want to finish my game of tree. Hey, what the fuck! Turn those lights back on!"

Despite the sizeable crowd surrounding the table and groaning at every successful save, Beason's partner, Jack Stanley '14 was enthusiastic about the situation. "It was really sick. Everyone was watching us play and saying things like 'lose already, douchebags!' and 'you're still playing, unbelievable.' Underdog status, mad facetime!"

Girls who wanted to dance claimed that they felt uncomfortable doing so in the presence of an ongoing pong game. "If the lights are on and people are still playing grinding is way too aggressive," said Lily Richards '14. "I might be able to dance with other girls provocatively in like a fun, flirty way, but grinding with guys is completely inappropriate at this juncture."

"I just like to dance, okay?" added Richards.

An accidental throw save by the brothers that knocked over the remainder of the cups and their insistence that there was no more "pong beer" ended the game. However, the awkwardness of the transition phase had reached critical mass,

leaving the basement devoid of both pong and a dance floor. "Is it our fault that the scene went to shit? Questionable." said Beason. "Yeah dance parties are fun but so is playing pong with dudes. Basements aren't democracies, you don't just
do what everyone clearly wants to do."

Polls indicate over 12 cocks were blocked.

-Kumar Kapoor '14