Friends from Home Seriously Don’t Care How Cold It Is

Despite the greatest efforts of Dartmouth students to covey how big a deal the current subzero temperatures in Hanover are, friends from home have shown no indication that they give a shit.

Stanley Worsham ’13 had phone conversations with over ten of his friends who attend a school in Texas while walking back to Judge dormitory late Sunday night, asking each of them, “Do you know what negative twenty feels like? Because I'm walking in it.” Responses ranged from a puzzled “OK” to “Weren’t you aware that you were going to school in New Hampshire?”



In an attempt to prove to his seemingly uninterested friends from home how cold it is in Hanover, Terrence Parker ’14 pointed out in his Facebook status that “It’s thirty degrees warmer here than in Antarctica.” To cement his hard guy status he added, “I didn’t know I went to the Siberia College.” Still, he was met with resounding apathy.

To deal with this lack of response and ensure that his friends got the idea that it was actually really cold, Parker posted a screenshot of the hour-by-hour weather forecast on his Facebook page with the caption “Yeaaaaaahhhhhhh Hanover.” This garnered a more favorable response with one friend, who attends the University of Arizona, commenting, “Thanks for the update!”

In addition to friends from home, many Dartmouth students have for some reason shown a complete lack of interest in discussion of the cold weather.

Hannah Lawrence ’11 lamented, “All I want to do is finish the reading for my 10 but I can’t sit in Collis for two minutes without someone coming up to me and loudly reminding me that ‘it feels like it’s negative forty degrees outside” or ‘that walk from New Hamp was the coldest three minutes of my life.’ Thanks a lot Al Roker, but I walked here too. In case you didn’t notice, I'm wearing three jackets, I think I know how cold it is.” These attitudes have not deterred the cold from being referenced in over ninety percent of conversations.

In related news, your friends at Dartmouth seriously don’t care how warm it is on your FSP.