14s Finally Starting to Realize their Trip Leaders’ Flaws

Since the end of trips, many trip leaders have fostered their trippees affection through mediums such as getting them on table that one time, dispensing moderately helpful course advice and giving them one of the five beers available at TDX. However, after over a month of adoration and hero worship by hundreds of ‘14s, trip leaders across campus are starting to lose their all-knowing, flawless status in the eyes of their trippees.

No ‘14s whom the Dunyun interviewed could pinpoint where their adoration for their trip leaders came from, but psychology professor Robert Stursberg compared it to the attachment of a nursing baby to its mother or a hostage to its captors in a related condition known as Stockholm Syndrome.

Some students were immune from this attachment, mainly those with siblings currently attending Dartmouth or those on varsity sports teams currently in season.

However, as trippees have grown more accustomed to Dartmouth, they have slowly lost their dependence on trip leaders and, in the process, have begun to realize that they are not as awesome and flawless as they once thought.

Responses to “TRIPPEE REUNION!!!” blitzes have fallen by over 50% in the past week unless the subject included the word pong.

Some ‘14s have realized that their leaders tricked them into joining certain campus groups. Cody McGuire ’14, who has been taking voice lessons since he was six, was given a floor bid to the Sings on his trip after his leader assured him that it was the best a capella group on campus. McGuire later described his trip leader as “fucking weird” and “tone deaf.”

Over the past month, the numbers of male ‘14s polled who were planning on joining their trip leader’s fraternity and were “definitely getting a bid” has fallen from 72% and 89% to 42% and 88%, respectively.

Alex Weaver ’13 opened up to the Dunyun about his trip leader last year, “One minute I’m talking with him about trying out for the Club Lax team at our biweekly FoCo dinner and the next I'm in the Dartmouth Creative Gaming club and I'm agreeing to dirty Sig Nu six weeks into Fall term. I'm just glad I had good friends and a great counselor at Dick’s House who could help me through it.”

Unfortunately, decreased confidence in trip leaders has led to a significant increase in number of lines of six across campus.

*This was actually Friday's Daily Dunyun