Stickers Validate Hundreds of Students as Good People

Although most Dartmouth students are actually good people, rarely does an opportunity come along for students to outwardly showcase that fact. However, the presence of a blood drive, election, and bone marrow donor registration drive provided students with the rare opportunity to prove to everyone they see that they are willing to put forth at least minimal effort to make the world a better place.

Harrison Frazier ’12 was excited to let people know that, on a seemingly ordinary Tuesday, he saved upwards of four lives and exercised his constitutional right, “I can only wear my DREAM shirt so many days of the week so I need other ways to show girls that I'm sensitive and care about other people and shit like that.”

Frazier even went as far as to carefully remove the stickers from his jacket and put them on his computer so he could play up his good person status while flitzing the tri-delt across the table from him on third floor berry.

In addition to the status of a good person, the stickers could also be redeemed for an excuse to not work out yesterday and between one and three points on a Gov midterm.

Neale Walton ’12, who contacted the Dunyun to discuss her role in organizing the blood drive, told the Dunyun “A lot of students really care about others and would never do something like this for selfish reasons. I’ve saved more lives than anyone you know and you never hear me trying to publicize it in any way.” When asked why she was organizing the drive, Walton declared “saving lives” quietly muttered something about “med school.” 

Lucy Morgan ’13, who drove to students to the polls at Hanover High also saw sincerity in the students who went to vote, “I’d say over half of them knew at least one of the candidates. I think we’re doing the right thing getting these students to vote, sure it dilutes the votes of people who actually know what they’re talking about, but on the plus side I probably told fifty kids who to vote for.”

Apart from stickers or validation as good person, reasons given to the Dunyun for participation in the various drives included “free pizza”, “feeling guilty” and “I get way more fucked up at meetings after I give blood.”