AD Starts Bidding War for Spots to Supertails 2011

Following the recent success of Supertails 2010, Alpha Delta Fraternity has decided to sell spots to Supertails next fall. Supertails, which normally pairs AD with the “top three” sororities, Delta Delta Delta, Kappa Delta Epsilon, and Kappa Kappa Gamma, has become an institution all of its own. The reputation of “the top three” now supercedes the actual sororities invited. Given this, AD Social Chair Bob Shandell ’11 has decided to sell spots to next year’s Supertails, knowing that any sorority in attendance will instantly be considered part of the social elite.

“Just think about it,” Shandell said. “Let’s say we didn’t sell these spots, but all of a sudden, Kappa wasn’t invited. Instead, Alpha Phi got invited. People would start to take notice. ‘Oh, maybe Alpha Phi’s on the rise. They’re pretty cool. They went to Supertails!’”

The bidding will be over before Rush 2011 to ensure that sororities that win the bid war are able to win the other bid war.

A Social Chair for one of the non-attending sororities expressed how excited she was at the opportunity to go to Supertails.

“I mean,” she said, “it’s like a normal tails event, but better, because I get to see hairy pledge ass.”

While the bidding war among the sororities that did not go to Supertails this year has been fierce, the current “big three” have stood their ground, refusing to take part.

“This is ridiculous,” said Kappa Social Chair Elizabeth Ortler ’11. “We have the hottest babiez. Supertails wouldn’t be super without us. That’s why Supertails is spelled with a capital K.”

The Dunyun was unable to get any further comments from Ortler, apparently since her cell phone reception in Theta Delt is terrible.

Sigma Delta Sorority was particularly interested in attending Supertails, but only if Kappa and its “hot ‘13s” were there. We’re still not quite sure why.

When asked what AD would spend its Supertails bidding money on, Shandell said, “Let’s just say we’re looking to make a lot of whipped cream.”

Plans are even in the works for a different fraternity to host Supertails instead of AD, although AD would maintain intellectual ownership of the name and the idea. Zeta Psi has proposed a $10,000 bid to host Supertails at Zete, but would also pay $7,000 to host Supertails at AD.

Also up on AD’s social calendar is “Kay-deeeeeee” tails, a joint event with KD and KDE sororities.