The Need to Be Engaged

Dartmouth girls need to wake up and realize that all boys at Dartmouth are looking for is a wife, point blank.

Let's back up a second. To be more exact, let's back up about two nights. I'm in the basement of Theta Delt, and I see a guy talking to girl. Let's call him Guy, and her Girl. He asks her to play pong. My friend, let's call her Friend, turns to me and comments about how he just wants to "get in her pants."

That is, quite frankly, disgusting and horribly misinterpreted! Hello! That's step one- it's like a date. Think about it! He is not only choosing her out of all the other girls in the basement, but he is making the bold move of "courting" her to be his partner. They're exclusive! And so what if he likes her pants! So now they're dating-but it gets better.

At this point in the night I am on my third mixed-drink in the corner just  watching this play out, but have observed the couple advance from dating to  celebrating multiple anniversaries. They have won three games of pong-if that's not a long-term relationship, I don't know what is. Guy asks Girl to go to the bar with him-
hello ladies, wake up, because that's basically like asking a girl to go on a romantic weekend getaway with him! Friend was horribly mistaken! If this isn't magical, I don't know what is.
   
I was already sold on this solid match before I saw Guy and Girl escape  upstairs together. Friend rolled her eyes-so insensitive! He really really loves her, I thought. That's like moving in together-which is basically like asking  someone to marry you.

Okay, and a word to Friend-you are so annoying! I appreciate your super  self-righteous point of view, but just because you're going to be a lonely cat lady when you grow up doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy for those of us who are hoping to find a husband at our next night out.

It practically out of a story book, and it happens all the time at Dartmouth. Why don't girls realize this is going on? I'm tired of girls complaining that all guys want is a hookup-they are clearly looking for much more than that. It's time for Dartmouth girls to open their eyes to the infinite pool of bachelors that is the Dartmouth College greek scene.
   
Next time you find yourself playing pong with Mr. Theta Delt, make a special note in your head if he's Mr. Right, too!

- Olive Wilder '12