Dartmouth Holds Saturday Morning “Keyster Egg” Hunt for Hanover Youth

In a show of goodwill to the Hanover community, The Dartmouth Office of Community Relations (OCR) has organized a campus wide scavenger hunt for local children. The scavenger hunt, to be held Saturday morning, will be for crushed Keystones carefully hidden in bushes, gutters, and sidewalks around campus.

David Spalding of the OCR has solicited greek organizations and the student body as a whole to help with the hiding of the Keystones. Preparation will take place Friday night and college officials expect unprecedented levels of student participation. Students will be asked to take their empty beer cans and, instead of throwing them out, thoughtfully toss them into the nearest bush, road, or blacked out ‘14. “Dartmouth has always striven for 100% community service; and it has never been easier to bullshit… err achieve that target.”, Spaulding remarked in an exclusive interview with The Dunyun.

Students have already brainstormed effective methods of hiding the cans. Jessica Catteral ’13, a Sigma Delt pledge, suggests shot-gunning a couple of cold ones on the way to Heorot to “like, keep morale up” before drunkenly flinging them onto the green. A ’14 in Fahey Hall, who wished to remain anonymous, realized he would unwittingly participate because he “can only sneak so many Stones out of Zete without having one fall out of my North Face.” His anonymity was presumably out of shame for referring to Keystones as “Stones”.

Hanover Town Manager, Julia Griffin was ecstatic about the idea, “I think its great to see that Dartmouth students care so much about the children.” She pointed out how in the past few days she has noticed hundreds of empty Keystone cans scattered in bushes and lawns along Wheelock Street, presumably in anticipation of Saturday’s events. “Just from looking around campus, it’s clear to me how eager Dartmouth Students are to participate!”, Griffin remarked.

The rules of the hunt are simple: the kids start at 9 AM and have two hours to find as many cans as possible. When the results came in, Philip Mills of Etna, NH took first place with a whopping 964 cans. When asked about his winning strategy he responded with a grin, “the lock to the Phi Delt basement was broken.” Early favorite Henry Dusen had found success on Frat Row until he too stumbled upon an unlocked basement. He later lamented this time spent in Sig Nu.

 Franky Anderson, age 8, spent his time searching the BEMA. While he only found four cans, he reported coming across “lots of burnt oregano” and a “greasy water balloon next to a blanket.” Reports confirm that Jessica Catteral’s dignity was also left at the BEMA that night.

Bobby Hoover '14