'13s Tweak Personalities for Pre-Rush

The past few weeks have seen sharp shifts in behavior from many ’13s around campus. Although completely unnoticed by a vast majority of the student body, ‘13s have shown strange personality fluctuations, occurring on Saturday or Sunday afternoons and usually coinciding with pre-rush events.

Although it has long been a tradition to completely change personality and wardrobe for fall rush, this class of freshmen has stepped up the personality modifications early in the game.

The personality changes have been most apparent for freshman girls. Christianne McNutt ’13 made some “minor improvements” to her personality in order to “blend well” with the sisters of Delta Delta Delta sorority. McNutt’s roommate described these strange changes, “She went to the Coop Saturday morning and bought an apron. Then she made 5 dozen cookies from scratch. She even wore the apron out that afternoon ‘showcase her true passion.’”

Lucy Morgan ’13, a usually quiet girl, explains that she also fine-tuned her personality for the Kappa Delta Epsilon pre-rush event, “All I know about KDE is that they’re ragey so I thought it would be a good idea to pregame pretty hard so I would be comfortable wearing ridiculous clothes. I got some weird looks but I definitely made an impression. It’s all about being yourself.”

Some girls even altered their eating habits for pre-rush events. Kelly Gambles ’13 refused a hamburger offered to her at the Kappa Kappa Gamma rush event because she “Thought it was some sort of a test.” She also ordered a special shirt with KKG embroidered on the front and told all the sisters, “I guess it’s fate. I always wear these shirts because KKG are my initials.”

Josephina Mantooth ’13 made similar efforts to fit in at Sigma Delta. Despite the fact that she has been dating the same boy since high school and doesn’t drink, Mantooth agreed to play pong, do a keg stand and “go upstairs” with a sister.

Some ‘13s refused to change their personalities for pre-rush events. Allie Smith ’13 resented her classmates for changing themselves, claiming “It’s stupid that girls try to change who they are. I'm just being myself an not going out of my way so suck up.” When asked by the Dunyun, the rush chairs of Kappa, KDE and Tri Delt did not remember Smith.

Even ’13 boys found ways to improve their personality in time for pre-rush events. Realizing that he lacked any desirable personality traits, Ben Harris ’13 decided to take up squash, tennis, soccer and rugby so that he would have good conversation topics for the Alpha Delta pre-rush grillout.

Sociology professor Alex Yerukhimov, who is in the middle of a 10 year study entitled “Ass Kissing and Personality Mimicking in Collegiate Rush”, claimed that this year’s class has really stepped it up in their quest to gain acceptance. He also qualified that it is much more difficult for potential male rushees to alter their personalities since they are usually required to “hanging out” and “any guy douchy enough to rework their personality usually reveals his real self after one game of pong.” He issued a word of warning for girls this fall, “this is just the beginning.”