Heorot Officially Institutes BYOB Policy

In a move two years in the making, Chi Heorot Fraternity officially voted last week to become Dartmouth’s first BYOB fraternity. The decision came after the winter term social fund, buoyed by winter pledges, ran out four weeks into the term. Although some brothers protested the move, most praised the change as long overdue.



Following the release of the decision, the college praised Heorot for its proactive stance. President Kim said in a statement, “The brothers of Chi Heorot are taking a stand against underage drinking. They are no longer hiding behind the status quo and are creating an environment where each brother is in greater control of their alcohol.”

In response to Kim’s statement, Heorot president Jacob Buck ’11 replied, “Wait, what?”

Buck continued, “We’ve essentially been BYOB for a couple years now so it made sense. Some brothers were just getting frustrated that they would pay dues and still make constant runs to Stinson’s to buy beer. We figured this way we could cut out the middle man, you know, dues.”

Heorot social chair Alexander Whalen ’11 was also excited about the move, “This shouldn’t actually change my job at all but it will definitely mean that people will complain at me a lot less.”

However, not everyone was excited about the elimination of dues.

Harrison Philip ’11, a member of the varsity hockey team, was simply perplexed by the change, “I just don’t get it. I thought we decided this after practice a couple years ago?"

Philip’s teammate Ryan Martin ’12 was also concerned that some members of the house were unsure of the ramifications of their decisions, “These guys just don’t understand how it works. They pay for beer and in exchange we get hot girls to come to the house and let them hang out with us. This is the principle that Heorot was built on and you can’t just institute BY, wait what was it again, Bro P? What does that even mean? But yeah that just can’t do it.”

The rest of campus is not expected to notice any changes.

In other news, the college still hasn’t realized that Student Assembly meetings are by far the least effective place to unveil a new policy if they actually want people to hear about it.