Jim Kim Changes Profile Pic to Derby Photo

After months of dipping approval ratings, President Kim made a bold attempt to reconnect with the student body this weekend. Giving up on facetime at poorly attended sporting events and forums, Kim headed to the annual KDE derby party with only one goal: the ultimate derby profile picture.

The plan was weeks in the making Kim’s intern explained, “He was really struggling. The picture with his kids is so played out and their cuteness has definitely dropped off in the past two years. People expect more of a man with over 1500 friends. He needed something fresh and exclusive.”

President Kim spent all week picking out the perfect outfit, a seersucker jacket with a pastel button down, Vineyard Vine pants and a bow tie, coming to $1200, on the company card of course. Saturday afternoon he sauntered across the street and was nearly turned away until a KDE '13 and future president's intern vouched for him as a visiting friend.



Kim seemed slightly out of place. When a student asked him what he thought of the party, he muttered something about how his favorite events are the ones where people wait an hour to shake his hand and take a picture, he makes a quick joke and then they write checks afterwards. Kim also had trouble interacting with students. He constantly responded to comments about the weather by saying “I cant believe we got Conan either, I guess that Harvard education was good for something after all.”

None of these problems would stop Kim from getting the perfect photo. He wanted it to look like he was having fun but not seem too staged. He carried a mixed drink instead of a beer to show that he knew how to have a good time while not condoning drinking. Inclusion of at least one minority student was also a necessity.

After a half hour of awkwardly stepping into pictures, Kim got a picture meeting all of his criteria, plus he added, “I was facing slightly to the right so they got my good side and my pocket square.” After ensuring that the photo was indeed prof pic material, he shouted “tag me” and headed back across Webster Ave to “throw a couple bills down on Stay Thirsty for the win.”

When interviewed by the Dunyun, Kim was optimistic that this would be a turning point for his popularity, “I’m on a roll right now. First I brought in Conan, now this. Next I’ll announce my ban of Frisbees on the green and submit a couple witty overheards about myself. It’ll be like my first year all over again.”

News tip by Kevin K. O’Kings