Green Team Blitzes Officially Replace TGIAF

By this point, half the school has been trained for Green Team. The members of Green Team are diverse, as well, spanning all stretches of campus. So a cultural shift was made. TGIAF was slowly phased out, and Green Team blitzes started being campus’s digest of party blitzes. 

“Oh, it’s great,” said Laura Tisch ’12. “There are so many party blitzes, and with TGIAF gone, I had no choice but to read all of them to know what was going on in a night. Then I got trained by Green Team and got on the blitz list. Now I get one comprehensive list of parties that are going on this weekend.”

Tisch added that she appreciates that parties that require Green Team are usually “the crazy ones,” so it’s like the digest was only of good social events. 

“This was not our intention,” said Miley Cyrus ’11, who spearheaded the Green Team initiative. “What? It’s a party blitz?”

Safety and Security officers had mixed reviews of the new use of the Green Team blitzes. 

“Such a two-sided coin,” said Jack McGee, Director of Safety and Security. “On the one hand, it saves us time in trying to track emails that say ‘tea’ instead of ‘te@”. Still haven’t figured out how to track punctuation marks. Dammit! Foiled. Now we just follow the Green Team blitz, and bam! On the other hand, this only reinforces our insecurity about the fact that we weren’t invited to the party.”

Fraternity and sorority officers have parroted the mixed review of Safety and Security. 

“Party blitzes are so stressful,” said Paul Martin ’12, social chair of Alpha Chi Alpha. “So it’ll be nice not to have to feel like I need to put in a pun. But I am going to lose a lot of facetime by only utilizing the Green Team blitzes.”

As of press time, The Dunyun did not have figures on Martin’s facetime. 

“I’m just glad we’re going to have a safe event,” said Paula Martina ’12, social chair of Kappa Delta Epsilon. “Really, be safe.”