Choice of Smoothie over Diet Coke Cements Healthy Collis Meal

As her yearlong quest to gain a bid to a top sorority draws to a close, Kelly Gambles ’13 thought it would be a good idea to “slim down a little” so that she could once again “fit into those three perfect dresses for rush,” which she picked out last December.

Gambles took a huge step towards achieving this goal while eating lunch at Collis Café when she decided to skip over her customary Diet Coke and instead opted for a much healthier option, a smoothie. Gambles explained her reasoning, “I’ve really been taking extra steps to be healthier. I get a smoothie with every meal now. They’re mostly fruit so you know they’re healthy. I also get half egg whites in my omelet, substitute brown rice on my stir fry and cut out the alfredo sauce on my pasta, that stuff goes straight to your hips. Yesterday I even skipped the pasta during lunch. I think my average Collis meal is around 400 calories.” 

Gambles also mentioned that she had limited her baked goods consumption to two days a week, but that was mostly to “maximize blueberry muffins and chocolate chip scones.” 

Sally Shuster ‘11, a Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority rush chair, praised Gambles’ choice while discussing the advantages of Collis, “Collis is organic so eating 3 meals a day there is like a detox that cancels out any games of pong you played or late night FoCo from the night before. She’ll be in rush shape in no time, not that that’s what we look for or anything.” 

Some students who observed Gambles’ upgraded meal questioned her decision to add the smoothie to her crowded tray. 

While also waiting in the smoothie line, Christy Jacobs ’13 hypothesized that Gambles’ had other motives, “[Gambles] is just trying to maximize Collis facetime before rush starts. It’s pretty shameless but we all know upperclassmen can see through it.”

Josh Johnson ’11 didn’t understand what Gambles was trying to accomplish with her smoothie choice, “There’s only one person who matters at Collis. Every morning I order three breakfast sandwiches so Collis Ray will call me ‘his boy.’ Then I give two of them to kids in line but I keep all that matters, Ray’s validation.”

To take her pre-rush push to the next level, Gambles set up a meeting with an Alumni Gym nutritionist who suggested several easy ways that Dartmouth students can be healthier including, “playing shrub, adding Emergen-C to drinks while pregaming, booting and rallying after the second game, and eating only at the Hop grill line, which makes you more athletic, although we haven’t figured out why yet.”