‘11s Too Tired to Make Snide Remarks about Croo Hair

The Class of 2011 is just, well… tired. We’ve been here for three years, seeing all the issues, having all the conversations. And, you know, like, we’ve seen it all. And heard it all. And some of it we just don’t want to do again. So we just can’t have the same conversation about Croo hair again. It’s even more tired than we are.

Every fall, a group of facetimey individuals returns to campus rocking tie-dyed hair. And every fall, other students feel the need to make snide remarks about how obnoxious it is to have hair like that, and yeah, we get it, you were on a Croo, and no, that isn’t a hint of jealousy in my voice. But now, man, we’re just too tired to rip on Croo people more.

Marissa Washington ’11 is one of the biggest enemies of the Croo program. “I’ve applied every year, and been rejected every year. But that has nothing to do with why I’m upset. I’m upset because they just think they’re so much better than us. But after two years of making fun of people with Croo hair, I just have better things to do with my time.”

Lodj Croo member Beth Johnson ’11 mirrored Washington’s comments, saying, “All these ‘13s keep making calls on me and then looking around to make sure other people heard them. The ‘11s just say, ‘sweet hair’ and then move on to their theses or piles of cocaine. You can tell that moving their jaw alone tires them.”

When asked about her motivation to get her hair colored back, Johnson said that she was considering it, but just waiting to “work up the effort.”

Vox Croo chief Bill Martin ’11 said that many have come up to him and asked him about the merits of having his Croo members tie-dye their hair. “I used to have this prepackaged answer to give about how it was to signify to freshmen that here’s a group of upperclassmen who are available resources to them. But now, I just shrug my shoulders and say, ‘Dunno.’ Shut the fuck up.”

No ’11 is too tired, though, to make jokes about Tom Dent Cabin.

- James Engle ‘11