’15 Convinces Girl that Rocky Bathroom is one of the Dartmouth Seven

Ready to seal the deal and “break his Dartmouth cherry,” Alex Davis ’15 left frat row Saturday with Miley Carter ’15. Upon reaching his Russell Sage triple, Davis was disappointed to find his roommate already back and “playing fucking Fifa.” Carter called her room a no go because her roommate “has a midterm Wednesday and has been holed up in there for the past week.”

Davis quickly proceeded to suggest that the two of them embark on one of the Dartmouth Seven. “I didn’t want Miley to ever have the chance to ‘just want to go to sleep’,” said Davis. “ So I just rolled with it from there.”

Carter was concerned about the cold because she thought all the Dartmouth Seven places were outside. “What about the hop,” asked Davis. “It’s sooo faarr!” “The stacks?” “Yeah but what if there are peeoople?”

“Okay how about the bathroom in Rocky? It’s super close and who the fuck goes into Rocky at 2 AM?”

“Is that even one of the Dartmouth Seven?” asked an incredulous Carter. “I’m pretty sure,” said Davis. “My friend read it on Bored@Baker like, yesterday.”

Carter needed no convincing. She had been psyched to try the Dartmouth Seven ever since her trip leader had told her about how she had done it. And Davis was so cute. “The bathroom was pretty gross but whatevs!,” said Carter. “Dartmouth Seven, here I come!”

Lawlz.

“It was certainly a technical challenge,” said Davis. “I don’t think I would do it again.” When asked to elaborate, Davis clarified that the bathroom part was fine but “Kylie was gullible as fuck. Like she had been homeschooled in the Teletubbies world. I felt a little weird about the whole thing”

Sources report that Carter had also gone over to Friday Night Rock the night before because her friend had told her that the mellow guitar guy from the Jones Media Center closing announcements was playing at 9:15 and again at 9:30.