Group of ‘14s to start Big Green Beets

Continuing the recent trend of entrepreneurship on campus, a group of eight ‘14s have recently founded Big Green Beets, a delivery service to accommodate Dartmouth’s ever growing demand for organic beets. The company will deliver beets to any room on campus, following the same business plan as wildly successful companies like DartmouthGuard and Big Green Noodles.

Corey Vanderbilt ’14 founded Big Green Beets with seven friends from his freshman floor after being frustrated by the lack of available beets on campus. “When the farmers’ market is gone in a couple of weeks, where can we find quality beets? It’s a big reason the new foco is so bad. No beets.”

Sources confirm that Vanderbilt has been known to blame it on the beets.

Big Green Beets will import their beets directly from the Co-op with no surcharge. When asked how they expect to make a profit, Vanderbilt insisted that we “let the businessmen handle it.”

The Dunyun’s new blitz-tapping service intercepted a blitz exchange between Vanderbilt and business partner, Ryan Murdoch ’14:

Vanderbilt: “profits? fuck profits. pretty sure hbs and wharton wont be looking at profits.”

Murdoch: “lets hope not. econ 21 is hard as fuck”

The owners hope that the name Big Green Beets won’t confuse customers into thinking the beets themselves are big and green. “Nah that would be kind of gross. They’re pretty much normal beets. Pretty great idea right?”

The formation of Big Green Beets will help the Big Green brand remain competitive with campus conglomerates such as Lone Pine, whose Laundry and Capital services have both found success at Dartmouth.

The expected success of Big Green Beets has already spawned an imitator called Dartbeet.

Dartbeet is not to be confused with Dartbeat, a side project of The D, or Dartbeat, a Dartmouth-themed pornographic website.