NBC Confirms that No One Outside of Dartmouth Cared about The Sing-Off

The a capella reality show “The Sing Off” took the Dartmouth community by storm last fall when the Dartmouth Aires competed on the show, capturing second place. However, NBC cancelled the upcoming season of the show this week, confirming suspicions that no one really cared about The Sing Off outside of Dartmouth.

Like a freshman during orientation, the greater Dartmouth community was enamored by catchy melodies, energetic dance moves and mostly the chance to see people they knew on national television. The greater Dartmouth community therefore assumed that, since they were excited for their connection to the fourth most popular reality singing competition on television, all of America shared this excitement.

Clarence Johnson ’15 described the world’s enthusiasm for the show at the time, “This is the best publicity Dartmouth has ever gotten. I wouldn’t be surprised if every high school senior applied this year. We’ll probably move up at least five spots in the US News rankings too.”

Many students and administrators oddly echoed this sentiment.

However, suspicions that the rest of America didn’t actually care at all about The Sing Off arose when Dartmouth failed see the expected 300% rise in applications and alumni donations. Adding to this, many Dartmouth students were mocked by their friends from home and received no reaction from relatives after excitedly asking them if they saw the Aires on The Sing Off.

One member of the Aires, whose name is being withheld because of the nauseating length to which he already goes to get facetime, was shocked by the show’s cancellation, “It has to be some terrible mistake. They can’t just cancel it. When will they play the montage recapping our narrow loss from last season so I can see myself on TV again? I’m sure our fans will rally to bring it back. I have oodles Twitter followers and at least two dozen of them are people I’ve never met.”

Random people interviewed on the street seemed less concerned with the cancellation of The Sing Off.

After this reporter received quizzical looks from many passerbys, Joe Stevens, an accountant, showed outrage at the popular singing show’s cancellation, “How can they cancel it? Everyone loved that show. The talent was unreal. Oh wait, I thought you said American Idol. What’s The Sing Off? Is that like a Sesame Street segment?”

In other news, Don Pease is excited about all the extra cups of cu++er he’s going to get after scheduling a test tomorrow.