Bones Gate Ironically Becoming Mainstream

After years of maintaining a reputation as “alternative” and “edgy”, recent visitors and fraternity stereotype experts have officially determined that the fraternity has achieved mainstream status.

Bones Gate officially refutes this claim, instead asserting that they are not actually becoming mainstream, but are instead doing it ironically.


The shift was marked by recent events, including a dance party last weekend playing only top 40 songs, the playing of “Call Me Maybe” in the basement, and a pledge class populated with guys who own shirts that they bought at J Crew.

In response to this criticism, Clark Bledsoe ’13 assured the Dunyun that the repeated playing of Call Me Maybe was ironic, “If it wasn’t such an accurate commentary on fraternity life at Dartmouth, we’d be listening to this awesome band that you probably haven’t heard of. That’s so predictable though.” When pressed on the topic, Bledsoe also could not name the band.

Jimmy Edelson ’08, a former Bones Gate brother, lamented what he referred to as the downfall of a once great institution, “First off, I want to take this opportunity to say that I was in BG before it was cool. What are they doing to the place? I hear we have kids working at Goldman? And the new president is from Greenwich? I miss the days when we got kids from alternative Connecticut suburbs like Darien.”

Edelson then reminded the Dunyun he was in BG before it was cool.

Clark Bledsoe also maintained that the house was having a president from Greenwich and selling out ironically, “It’s the last thing you would expect from us. I mean we’re BGs, it’s so ironic it’s hilarious.”

Bones Gate members are expected to stop smelling like smoke, start wearing Nantucket red shorts, and trying really hard to secure derby invites in the near future, ironically of course.

When asked for comment about Bones Gate’s new status, Sally Peppercorn ’15 replied, “What’s Bones Gate? Oh BG? I thought that was Beta Gamma, you know the other Beta, that frat we go to when Theta Delt isn’t having a party.” It is unclear whether or not she was being ironic.