Instagram Revolutionizes Sophomore Summer

Photographers and “photographers” alike are taking advantage of Instagram, a recent application that effectively transforms any innocuous iPhone picture into a nostalgic reminder of good times and our long lost youth.

Instagram works by filtering pictures of the Green on a nice day or of you and your friends wearing flair with a yellowish, aging tint so that instead of looking stupid, you look classy as fuck.

Lauren Simon ’14 says that she has used Instagram to show friends how interesting she is. “Whenever I go to tails or to the docks, I’m always on the lookout for gram-able moments. Instead of tanning, I’m wistfully enjoying the great outdoors. Instead of getting hammered off of sangria, I’m treasuring the short time I have left as a kid.”

Instagram’s filters vary from grainy yellow to faded brown, the two most natural choices to beautify any photograph. Simon says that Instagram has even made Astro 3: ‘Huge Things in Outer Space’ interesting. “The thermonuclear radiation of the sun makes so much more sense in ‘Amaro,’” she wrote in an email to the Dunyun. “Although ‘Rise’ is super fitting. Wait no—‘Early Bird’ for sure.”

Formerly unremarkable ‘14s have ascended to unforeseen levels of cool with a single Facebook album chronicling their 4^th of July BBQ titled “America!!!” but strongly implied to mean, ‘the fleeting innocence of youth and preservation of childlike wonder in contemporary America.’ These timeless albums allow people to reflect on how young and innocent they once were, last Wednesday.

With Instragram, campus has adopted a perpetual Bon Iver or Arcade Fire soundtrack that makes lying on roofs or smoking by the river feel profound as shit. While Instagrams of Bridgewater info sessions and Goldman interviews are rumored to exist, they have not surfaced on Facebook due to their overwhelming sadness.